GIRLS

I think the show is honest, and I appreciate that. Lena Dunham has not created the characters we want to be, but the characters we are. I find myself simultaneously hating and relating to most of what they do. For a generation of 20-somethings still told we have the world at our fingertips but believing less and less that we will ever reach it, the show rings true. Maybe this makes me shallow or self-depricating, but I take comfort in my ability to relate to characters without having to build myself up first.

From The Man Repeller (a personal blog hero of mine): "I’ll watch either way–it’s hard for me to deny Girls’ uncanny ability to break-down the twenty-something experience, which has also helped me to understand something very important: the fundamental difference between the idol you want to be, and the one you want to be friends with. Hannah Horvath is a deeply self-deprecating, wholly irritating individual–who wants to be that? Not very many people, I would guess. But it is in the tender moments that exemplify the nuanced, true details of female friendship that I for one, itch to get in that tub and participate in an Oasis sing-along. And isn’t that worth something far more valuable? Hannah never steals our personal compasses of self-worth or adequacy."

So maybe it's a guilty pleasure, but mostly I find that watching the show girls reminds me that it's OK to wallow in self-deprecating, narcissistic soul searching in hopes of coming out the other side an adult. It is a true testament to our "lost" generation of over privileged, confused 20-somethings desperate to find our way and make our contribution in the often underwhelming world of adulthood.

This is me, considering grad school

I know I am not alone. A whole generation of upper middle class children with the world at their knees. This is not a new idea, It's a coming of age far too late sort of tale. pushed through with every advantage one could have until, with the whole wide world at our feet we ask 'what now?'

I haven't lived a sheltered life, but a life motivated by ideals. As if it would all fall into place one day. But here I am, 23, with my life still in pieces. I have a good job, but not the kind of job you want to work forever. I could go to grad school but my grades are somewhat lacking and my motivation towards a future of uncertainty is waning fast.

I wasn't prepared for this. Perhaps something is broken inside of me, but I don't have any sort of idea what kind of future I want. I was raised to believe I was extraordinary and capable but I am not. I am one of many college graduates, sitting behind a desk, writing a blog that no one reads.

Home sweet home

What a wonderful way to start the day! It's pretty nice to be home, although I am having some serious katie withdrawals... But 10 days is a long time to be away and it is so very nice to see the people I had missed. I plan on hibernating until it warms up outside, but it's certainly pretty to look at!

My little old man

Here Be Monsters

I read a book a couple years back that changes my life. I don't think it mattered so much what the book was as what I was going through when I read it. I was looking for something, or not looking, but expecting, and I picked up one of many good books I could have picked up and there it was; exactly what I didn't know I had been expecting.

I think that's how it is with everything, with books, religion, friends, it is less about them and always about us. I think as people we are always looking for something whether or not we know it and because of that we find it in something else and that something else takes responsibility for what we were looking for, it represents finding and keeping what we need.

I think because there are so many books to pick up or people to meet we are always finding what we are looking for and not knowing it and this makes us happy.

We find what we need, externalise it and make it a part of us. Then we go on looking, but in a subtle way that can never be disappointing. I like that.

The book was Here be Monsters by Collin Cheney.

Happy holidays

Shorts

Boys are stupid, and girls are crazy. I've posted it a thousand times before. But what if the boy is crazy? does that make the girl stupid?

I feel like alice on her head when the whole world grows huge. Except Alice had it easy, she had a rabbit to fallow and mushrooms to eat, which is more of a plan then I have got.

I love the holidays, I love the decorations and the food and the tradition. The holidays feel like home no matter where I am. I am home this year, or at least as close to home as I've been in many years. Again I find myself alone in a new place; and again I am overwhelmed with both excitement and loneliness at the idea.

If you find yourself needing more holiday cheer, just pop on the Sufjan Stevens Christmas collection. It's just that good.