Hide your crazy and now act like a lady

Anyone who has known me for more then 10 minutes knows that I have the worst luck with men, partially because I whine about it constantly and partially because it is just painfully true. From my first attempted relationship with a boy who could have competed in asshole olympics to my most recent run in with batshit insane, it has been bleek. I can't let men take all the credit, my ability to turn any date into a circus of awkward situations has certainly played a role along with my aggressive sense of humor.

But here I am, dating, and for once actually dating well (I think). I definitely have not become less awkward, or aggressive, or uncoordinated but I have found a guy who somehow finds these things endearing AND happens to be wonderful.

My strategy?

1. Go on a lot of dates, and don't attempt to hide the crazy. It's better to scare a guy off right away with your love for glitter and dancing badly in public then to fall for a guy and then scare him off later.

2. Just because he likes you does not mean he is worth dating. I think it's true women fall for assholes, but I also think we get over it. You only have to date one or two (and we all have) to realize it's not worth it.

3. Get a dog. On more then one occasion I have found myself lying on my roommates floor yelling that I would rather stay home and play with my dog then go on a scheduled date. And I did, if you are less excited to see a guy then to put on sweatpants and play tug-of-war while drinking wine the guy is probably not worth it and you are probably a ninety year old woman inside, embrace it.

I am not giving advice here, you would have to be insane to take advice from someone with my track-record, this is me proudly proclaiming to the internet that I may be starting to figure something out. But don't be disappointed, I am sure there will be many an awkward dating story to share in the future.