do they offer lessons for this?

in attempts to explain why a night out ended with my on my back on a pub floor (if you will recall, this is 100% the fault of a boy grabbing my feet out from under me). i was desperately trying to justify such an outcome without the involvement of alcohol and, as usual misused some rather vulgar british expressions. while laughing loudly, my friend asked how i could have possibly ended up on the floor if i hadn't been drinking. speaking even more loudly so he could hear me over the sound of his own frantic laughter, i exclaimed, "he tossed me off!" which i can assure you does not mean the same thing here as it does back home. nor did this stop my friends from laughing at me, now accompanied by the disapproving stairs of my entire genetics class. the moral of the story is that i am really bad at being british. do you think they offer lessons? and if so, does a fantastic accent cost extra?